The Element of Being Cheated

For one hundred fifty big ones, anyone would expect nothing but the best from the multi-million dollar, multiple grammy winning, uber talented Miss Alicia Keys. At her March 19th concert at the Prudential Center in New Jersey, she presented the crappiest stage performance I’ve ever witnessed.

I had heard that her concert at Madison Square Garden, which took place the night before was spectacular. It included appearances by Beyonce and Jay-Z. I didn't think that they would show up at the Prudential Center, but I didn't think that Alicia would put less than one hundred percent into her New Jersey concert. Boy, was I wrong.

First of all, I arrived at the concert an hour late, so I was already annoyed. I blame my best friend for not allowing enough travel time to drive from Brooklyn to New Jersey on a Friday. I also blame my other friend for making my best friend leave from an already congested Canal Street to pick her up in front of her job. I hate being late for anything, especially a concert that I paid one hundred fifty dollars for a ticket. It took a total of an hour and twenty minutes to get from the Brooklyn Bridge to the entrance of the Holland Tunnel. I showed up just in time to see the last eight minutes of Robin Thicke. He and Melanie Fiona opened for Alicia Keys. I didn’t get to see Melanie Fiona. At least I showed up in time for the headliner. I was sure that I was in for a treat from Miss Keys, or so I thought.

Alicia was anything but impressive. Don’t get me wrong. She did sing her popular songs. She sang my favorites like “Diary” and “Unthinkable (I’m Ready).” I wasn’t engaged. I really could have saved my money. I thought maybe I had been spoiled by the hardest working woman in show business, Beyonce, but that wasn’t it. I had also been to Ne-Yo’s, John Legend’s, and Maxwell’s concerts and they all grabbed me. They all don’t do a booty-pop like Beyonce, yet they all still had my attention. I felt a connection. Alicia bored the daylights out of me. I did like when she played her key-shaped electric keyboard, but that wasn’t enough. Her concert just didn’t have that WOW factor.

I wasn’t moved by the outfit she chose to wear on stage. It was as tacky as hell and should have been placed on the worst dressed list. She wore an army green military inspired tuxedo jacket with silver sequin skinny pants. Alicia? Really? I get dressed in the dark, and I still come up with better outfits than that one. I don’t know why celebs think that they can get away with ridiculous outfits. What was her stylist thinking?

So what do you get when you put together a long drive to an over-priced concert that featured a boring performance from Alicia Keys that you showed up late to? The Element of Being Cheated. I never felt so robbed. My friends cheated me out of seeing a concert from beginning to end by leaving late and getting caught up in traffic. Alicia Keys gave the most lackluster performance in my life. I really think that she gave New York her best and gave New Jersey her worst. So I was left to go back home to Brooklyn, feeling annoyed as well as cheated out of what should have been a great concert and one hundred fifty dollars. I am never going to another concert ever again.

Hula Hoopin' Hottie

Last year, I bought myself a hula hoop. My mother had given me one as a kid, but I had never got the hang of it. Even when I was in high school, my gym teacher had me try it out, and I still sucked. I came to the conclusion that the hula hoop wasn't my cup of tea; that was until I came across my niece's hula hoop at my brother's house in Georgia. Hesitant at first--because I was 23 years old--I picked up that purple shiny hula hoop and began to circle my waist. I shocked myself. It actually circled my waist for a very long time. I believe the fact that the hula hoop had water inside of helped it to keep circling my waist. The hula hoop my mother bought me from Bargain Hunters had rice grains in it. That was a proud moment for me. That was four years ago.

So now, at 27 years old, I am a self-proclaimed hula hoopin' hottie. I taught myself a couple of hula tricks. I am able to control the speed of the hula hoop, stand on one leg and hula, jump and turn around with the hula hoop still circling my waist. It's pretty cool. My friends think that I am crazy for still playing with a hula hoop at my age, but I don't care. I'm grown, but I'm not old. It's great exercise. In fact, there is a hula hoop game on the Wii Fit. I actually got a chance to give it a whirl, which was fun. While you're circling your waist on the Wii Fit you're supposed to stop and lean over to allow your Mii character to catch another hula hoop. For that part I will need extra practice, but other than that, the game is fun.

Doing this activity keeps me youthful. Being an adult, I don't see too many other adults wanting to do much activities. All they want to do is sit down, eat, and talk. Boring! For me, hula hooping allows me to de-stress (the same goes for dancing). Focusing on keeping it from falling to the ground doesn't allow me time to think about things that bother or worry me. It's an excellent way to keep me smiling as well as keep my beautiful figure.

Booty-Calls to Boyfriends

Is he going to be the one? Many women ask themselves this million-dollar question whenever they meet a guy. Many nights are spent talking on the phone, texting and/or sexting, and then it gets to a point where there is enough comfort (or trust) to have sex with each other. Almost instantly those calls and texts are nothing but sexual. Perhaps there were one or two dates, but the other encounters were all sexual encounters. He's no longer concerned with how your day went and other information that seems useless to him. All he wants is sex, and more sex. Two questions get asked: "What the fuck?!" and "Why isn't this going anywhere, but the bedroom?" Then the realization comes that this man was only in it for the sex. Never did he want to build towards a committed relationship. Disappointment sets in. Those high expectations about that man all blow up in smoke. He gets cursed out for only living up to be a booty-call, not a boyfriend. (Sigh)

Women need to give up on having these expectations for the men they meet. They need to stop believing that every man they meet is "the one." Instead of just having these expectations, speak out. Be open and honest. Men can't and don't try to read minds. Don't allow his good looks or his sexy phone voice to get in the way of asking important questions. Don't ask a man out, but do ask if he wants a girlfriend. If he says that he doesn't want one, then move on to the next one. Please don't conduct a formal interview with him; allow your questions to have a natural flow and don't force them. Why become disappointed over and over again because a man didn't live up to an expectation? Leave out the guess work and follow facts. If he says that he doesn't want a girlfriend, move on. Don't stick around to analyze his words and the tone of his voice, and don't try to change his mind. Leave! If he says that he would like to see how things turn out, be patient with the dude. Don't be in such a hurry to be with somebody.

Don't become easily attached. Don't confuse good sex with a good heart. Sex, period, is not enough to determine whether someone is boyfriend or girlfriend material. Men have an impeccable gift of not allowing their feelings to get in the way of sex. For many women, it's the opposite. If a man wanted to get to know a woman, that's exactly what he would do. A woman cannot make a man do anything that he doesn't want to do.

If there's nothing but sex going on, a booty-call cannot turn into a boyfriend. Take the proper steps and ask the right questions. Depending on the response, a woman will know if a man is just a booty-call or a potential boyfriend.

Lady Gaga Gives New Definition to Smokey Eyes

Sunglasses are a must-have accessory for everybody. They accentuate eyes just like the perfect smokey eye effect. Who knew that the two could be merged into the ultimate attention-grabber? These cigarette sunglasses worn by Lady Gaga in her video for Telephone featuring Beyonce definitely grabbed the attention of her fans who watched her long-ass (9:32) video. I hope there aren't any lame-ass idiots out there trying to buy a pair of these sunglasses. Sorry, but only Lady Gaga can get away with wearing smokey cancer sticks as trendy eyewear.

Quality Over Quantity

As I grow older and I learn more about dating men, I have become tired of the mathematics of dating. I constantly hear it on television, read it in magazines, and hear it in conversations with a few of my girlfriends that everything must be reciprocated between a guy and a girl. Please! Are we fractions or are we two people just trying to get in?

If a guy calls once, why should that automatically mean that a girl must call once, or vice versa? The same question can be asked for texting, asking each other out on a date, etc. It’s immature and inorganic to go tit for tat all the damn time. It meddles with the natural rhythm of getting to know each other. Why should a male or a female hold out on making a phone call just because he or she called already and the favor hasn’t been returned? If a man or woman wants to get in contact, there shouldn’t be anything that gets in the way of stopping it from happening.

Why do people pay so much attention to quantity, and not so much on quality? It’s not a good idea to pay attention to the number of phone calls, texts, or dates or visits that have taken place. We shouldn’t get all caught up in the numbers. What if you’re dealing with someone who doesn’t live close by to you? What if you’re involved with someone who has a busy schedule? Take your eyes away from the amount of times someone has done something for you, and direct your eyes to the quality of the things that someone has done for you. Pay attention to how you feel about the person and the situation. Quality should never be outshined by quantity.

When people date, they shouldn’t strive for perfection; and even if they do, high numbers don’t mean that someone is perfect. What’s your agenda when it comes to dating? Is it to get to know this person and eventually build a relationship? Is it to have sex? Or is it to simply something to get you out of the house? Whatever it is you would like to gain out of dating someone, don’t use numbers to support your plan. Sure he’s brought you flowers numerous times, but does he also make you feel like the manure it took to grow them? Ask yourself that question. Sure she calls you every day, but are those conversations mind-stimulating and thought-provoking? What about that? Dig deeper into this. If the quantity outweighs the quality, there’s a problem that definitely needs to be addressed.

Why was this dumb-ass rule set? Why do people listen? Too many people want to be in control of when they fall in love, who they want to fall in love with, who they want a relationship with, and who they want to bang. A lot of us have put time limits on our goals, especially relationship goals. The truth is people don’t know when any of these events are going to happen for them. We don’t know when we are going to meet that special someone. We don’t even know how much time we have left on this earth. So many people would like to believe that they are in control and often end up angry, disappointed, confused, and heartbroken when things do not turn out the way that they had thought.

I was guilty of doing this up until recently. I asked myself why I had been doing this. I had been doing this because people had told me that this was the thing to do, and I believed them. But because I would constantly become frustrated, I decided to end this nonsense. I let go of the quantitative approach to dating. I enjoy just being in the moment with a man and I pay more attention to my feelings. I am more open and I more honest with him and, more importantly, myself. I am happy with going with the ebb and flow of things. I am more comfortable with this rhythm than getting caught up with numbers. Math was never my best subject anyway. It was a waste of time to have struggled with this constantly because once I fell back and relaxed, I ended up going in the direction I was destined to go in anyway.

Don’t be a slave to quantity. Less can be more. Sometimes the numbers will not add up, but if the quality surpasses the quantity, don’t allow math to get in the way of a good thing.

Basket Shopping, Anyone?

Many women, when you ask them what's the first thing that they look at on the opposite sex, will say, "His eyes," or "His lips." Being the oddball that I am, I look at something else. I look at something that pokes out further than any pair of eyeballs, or any pair of juicy, succulent, soft-with-cherry-chapstick lips. I look at the bulge in his pants. Yes, that's right! I do what is called basket shopping.

Apple has this application for the IPhone that provides interesting and enlightening sex facts. I came across the Sex-Facts app one day while I was playing with my best friend’s phone. Curiosity led me to flip through some of the sexual facts, and eventually I came across the term basket shopping. Basket shopping is defined as looking at the bulge in a man's pants. I laughed when I came across this sex fact. I laughed because I didn't know that there was a term for what I have been doing since elementary school. I went along and downloaded the app to my phone immediately after.

I know that the bulge is not a definite marker for determining whether or not a man is hung, but it is just a fun activity that I engage in to keep my day interesting. I never stare at his package for a long time. It only takes me a nano second to get a good look at his basket, and then I go on about my business. It doesn’t make me more attractive to him. Basket shopping is one of the ways I keep my day from being bland and boring. I am never compelled to reach out and grab at them (no need to be in jail). A quick look is all I need. The size of the bulge doesn't even matter to me.

I have no clue about how the term basket shopping came into existence, but I am sure whoever created it got a good enough kick out of it. I like the fact that it doesn’t sound perverted or vulgar. I wouldn’t consider this to be perverted behavior. It’s totally natural. The term basket shopping gives lightness to the whole idea of the activity. It sounds like there is no harm in it, and there isn’t. All I am doing is looking. No lewd thoughts pop into my brain or anything like that. I’m just having a little fun. That’s it!