I'm Good

It has been a minute since my last post. I must say that my last post was kind of depressing, yet it was real and I am glad that I accomplished expressing my feelings. Writing that post was a great release for me. Within a week after posting it, I began to feel better. You know, sometimes there are days when you feel as though you can conquer the whole world and then there are days when you feel like crawling under a rock. I had arrived at a point in my life where I was like: "Enough is enough!"

But something else weird happened. Letting go of the expectation allowed me to come to a place where I could get with a guy, have casual sex with him, and think nothing of it. I didn't feel automatically attached. I didn't over analyze him or the situation. I knew that we were together for only one thing. I didn't call him constantly. I didn't become upset if something came up and we weren't able to get together for one night. I felt free. I didn't have a relationship in my head. I didn't expect anything from him, but sex. Even though I felt that way, I still knew that I deserve so much more. I shocked myself. I didn't think that I had that capability.

With dropping the expectation of falling love with a man there is no room for becoming disappointed. I was tired of putting my best Dolce Diva forward and not getting anything back in return. I was tired of getting my feelings hurt. Now I don't have to worry about that anymore because I'm good. I feel good. I look good. I walk good. I talk good. Can't nobody tell me nothing.