Bold Move

I cut off all my hair. I couldn't take it anymore. Yes, Dolce Diva is now a dark caesar diva. I went to the barber shop after work, sat in the chair, told the barber what I wanted, and when he was finished I came out looking like a brand new diva.

Originally, I had planned to do the big chop on my thirtieth birthday, but I decided to move the day up. I've had enough with putting relaxers in my hair. Yes, they make your hair look fabulous, but I had to put an end to putting so much chemicals into my body. No, I am not following some hair trend. This was a life decision for me and I am happy that I did it.

People tried to convince me not to make such a bold move by cutting all my hair off, but I didn't feel like waiting until enough new growth came along so that I wouldn't look like the Gingerbread Man. I was pretty confident. I knew that my mother had done a great job at shaping my head properly as a baby, so I know that wasn't in for any surprise lumps and bumps upside my head; and even if there were any, I wouldn't have gave a damn anyway because last time I checked, I am the one who pays my bills.

Some of my friends asked if I felt liberated. Honestly, no. I don't feel liberated; however, I am further convinced that I am gorgeous. I was blessed with a face that is able to pull off any hairstyle. Long hair, short hair, braided hair, curly hair, and now no hair. I can rock 'em all! Cutting off all my hair has made me more attractive. I feel more beautiful than ever before.

Everybody loves my haircut. I have never received so many compliments in one day. The moment that will stick with me forever is when I walked into my job the day after the big chop, and my student who has alopecia and always wears a baseball cap walked up to me, took off her cap, and told me that I was beautiful. It took every fiber in my being to hold in the tears. I will cherish that moment for the rest of my days. I hope the next bold move I make will cause a similar result.

Do You Have to Tell?

Do you have to tell the person you are having casual sex with that you are now in a relationship?

Is it any of his/her business?

Do you ignore the texts and phone calls?

If you do respond to the texts and the phone calls, do you make up excuses as to why you can't come through, hoping that he/she will get the hint that y'all cannot hook up anymore and stop hitting you up?

Or do you just come clean and tell him/her the truth?

I'm Good

It has been a minute since my last post. I must say that my last post was kind of depressing, yet it was real and I am glad that I accomplished expressing my feelings. Writing that post was a great release for me. Within a week after posting it, I began to feel better. You know, sometimes there are days when you feel as though you can conquer the whole world and then there are days when you feel like crawling under a rock. I had arrived at a point in my life where I was like: "Enough is enough!"

But something else weird happened. Letting go of the expectation allowed me to come to a place where I could get with a guy, have casual sex with him, and think nothing of it. I didn't feel automatically attached. I didn't over analyze him or the situation. I knew that we were together for only one thing. I didn't call him constantly. I didn't become upset if something came up and we weren't able to get together for one night. I felt free. I didn't have a relationship in my head. I didn't expect anything from him, but sex. Even though I felt that way, I still knew that I deserve so much more. I shocked myself. I didn't think that I had that capability.

With dropping the expectation of falling love with a man there is no room for becoming disappointed. I was tired of putting my best Dolce Diva forward and not getting anything back in return. I was tired of getting my feelings hurt. Now I don't have to worry about that anymore because I'm good. I feel good. I look good. I walk good. I talk good. Can't nobody tell me nothing.