It has been nearly a year since my big chop. I have received a tremendous amount of positive feedback since breaking away from the creamy crack a.k.a. hair relaxer. I heard comments like, “You’re brave,” “You show strength,” “You’re beautiful,” and my favorite, “You belong on the cover of Ebony.” It would be an absolute honor to grace the cover of that magazine, but I don’t know if that opportunity will ever present itself. I’ve been keeping my hair low, but now I am growing it longer to have the ability to wear more styles. I love my hair. Even with it being in that meatloaf-looking awkward stage, I love to twist it, pull it, rub it, and stare at it. It’s full and healthy. I can no longer drive a comb through my thick hair. I have to use a pick. I thought it would be a bit of a challenge to physically deal with my real hair, but I was wrong. The real challenge that I am having with my hair is name-calling. I want to end the verbal abuse. Why is it so hard to not call my hair nappy?
When I shared with my sister and my best friend that I would like to put an end to calling my hair nappy, they both asked, “Then what would you call it?” My response was, “It’s tightly curled.” With their laughter slightly held back, they said, “Good luck with that.” I could tell that they both thought that I was crazy. Is there really no other way to describe my hair? One could automatically jump to describing it as kinky, but what the hell is that? I know that the term means curly, but the weight of the negative connotation outweighs the denotation. I wouldn’t call my hair kinky. When I look at my hair in the mirror and when I look at it sitting on my hair pick, I see curly hair. Why is it crazy to call my hair curly?
Black people have been so brainwashed into calling our hair nappy. When I hear the word, nappy, I think of separation—the bad from the good—the inferior from the superior. The word nappy is a venomous word invented to leave black people paralyzed, disabling us from calling our hair curly. The word caused us hate our God-given hair. Many of us wouldn’t want to be caught dead with nappy hair. Calling our hair nappy is saying that we don’t love our hair. It’s saying that our hair is bad; and it’s saying that it is inferior. That’s the unfortunate reason why it’s crazy to call it curly. We should not continue to call our hair nappy.
There is nothing wrong with my natural black hair. I find it very difficult to break away from the habit of calling my hair nappy. It was easier for me to control myself from eating basket-loads of bread. Why is this reality for so many people, particularly for women? Some are assumed or accused of being gay just because their hair looks less feminine. Some of us have to be mindful of what we wear, particularly plaid shirts—as if lesbians have a uniform. The only man I know who talked about his struggle with hair was Malcolm X. In his autobiography, in the chapter titled “Homeboy,” Malcolm X revealed how ridiculous he was when he decided to put a conk (homemade hair relaxer) in his hair. His relaxed hair was an emblem of shame. To continue to call my hair nappy is evidence that the shame still exists. It just feels so engrained in my brain and in my DNA to just naturally call my hair nappy.
It’s pure craziness, but it’s real how hair affects the perception of others. Hair has power. It has the power to cause people to be amazed, amused, or ashamed. Having natural hair has empowered me to realize that relaxed hair is enslaved hair. Having had relaxed hair for twenty-four years, I know first-hand that it requires more money and more time to maintain relaxed hair than natural hair. With relaxed hair, black women have to battle with two hair types. We were conditioned to think that maintaining our real hair is tough and exhausting and not worth dealing with it. Relaxed hair is not as convenient as many women think. The prime reason I cut off all my hair was because I was tired of having to spend so much time in the salon. None of us ever want to step into a salon only to find out that we are next after the chick getting the full-head weave. I don’t have to worry about scratching my head too hard. Relaxed hair requires a much bigger commitment.
However you all choose to wear your hair is not my concern. I just feel that my hair should stop being called nappy. But why is it so hard for me to stop saying it? You all can call me crazy if you want, but I have to break this habit. We all should break this habit. I have not been doing a great job at this task, but I am determined. I have made it a priority for me to stop insulting my strong and versatile African hair. My hair does not make me any less worthy of acquiring the things God already promised to me. And it doesn’t signify that anyone is better than me. It has saved me money and I no longer have to worry about it getting wet by precipitation or perspiration.
What do you think? Should I continue to work on breaking my bad habit or should I just throw in the towel and embrace the word? How do you feel about the word nappy? Should this N-word be knocked out of our vocabulary or not?
I have become my own nail artist. After another poor manicure from a local nail salon, I decided to do my own nails. By doing this I keep my money in the black community. Now when my nail polish chips quickly, I don't get upset because I didn't waste $2o. I am going to perfect my skills. I have been doing my own nails for only a couple of months and I consider creating nail art a new hobby. Initially, I tested out my skills on my students at my job. They were in love! I love being able to do my nails. Since I'm right-handed, the challenge is for my left hand to be able to mimick my right hand. So far, I'm on my way to becoming great. I would love to go to cosmetology school to learn more about nail technology. I have done a little bit of research and the schools that I have looked up pretty much offer the same education. If I were to become a licensed nail technician, that would equal $$$$. That would be one heck of a side hustle. Imaginge me: Educator, Writer, Nail Tech? Sounds awesome to me. There's nothing like being a well-rounded individual. 
